Its official! I’m going to be a high school English teacher. I’ve been accepted into a fellowship program that starts May 27th. I take my state board certification in 2 weeks. I am enrolled in online prep course work through the program. On May 27th I’ll hit the ground running teaching summer school in Maryville in the morning and being coached and mentored in the afternoon. A typical day will go from 7 am to 7 pm. I’m excited to be doing something new and hope to finally find the purpose in my life I’ve been searching for so long now. I can’t believe how fast the time goes by. It seems like yesterday they called me to have me finish my application and now it’s going to be here before I know it.
I’m scared though, in a way, because it’s such an important job. My performance directly effects these kids and their future. That’s a lot of pressure for a new job, to say the least. I don’t know why but since I turned 25 I’ve been fervently seeking purpose and meaning for my life. Maybe it’s just because I’m getting older now, or maybe it’s an innate part of my generation. It explains why lots of people I went to school with are with the Peace Corp, FEMA, and Teach for America.
Part of me believes in myself to a fault. Part of me can’t see any reason why I wouldn’t be as great a teacher as I hope. But then the uncertain part of me looks at the situation and fears the unknown. It gets overwhelming looking at everything I have to get done for training to know that training is the easy part. This fall I’m going to be a lone with 35 strangers in a title one school teaching a subject that had nothing to do with my major in college. Part of me wonders if I can even do it. Then my heart says don’t worry, you’ll do it because you have to do it, and do it well at that.